Father’s Day in the UK
Father’s Day in the UK, third Sunday in June (17th June 2018).
Several theories exist on the origins of Father’s Day, one being that it originated as part of pagan sun worship since it occurs close to the summer solstice. Another theory is that the celebration was started in the USA by a woman, Sonora Smart Dodd, to honour her father, a US Civil War veteran. He raised his six children alone after his wife died in childbirth. Another suggestion embracing a US origin is that the day was inaugurated by Grace Golden Clayton of Fairmont, West Virginia in memory of the 360 men who were killed in a mine explosion in a nearby town in 1908.
The world has seen its share of fatherly paragons and also many a father whose genes have mercifully bypassed us. This applies equally to the human and animal kingdoms.
Male seahorses are the only species of animal where the male undergoes pregnancy. The female deposits her eggs in the male’s pouch, where he fertilizes them and incubates them for 45 days. He then delivers them, fully-formed, even experiencing labour pains. Perhaps humans should inject seahorse DNA into men (and watch the birth rate plummet).
Most species of frogs and toads retain their tadpoles in their mouths until they are able to live independently. This would be another sure-fire way to reduce population growth in man.
As for the Australian marsupial mouse (antechinus), his dedication to procreation is literally the death of him; definitely the all-time best human contraceptive idea. He can spend up to twelve hours mating, forgetting to eat, drink or sleep. These omissions, coupled with the high steroid levels in his blood, kill him.
Amongst the good human fathers, Charlemagne must be the most forbearing. After one of his sons conspired to kill him, instead of executing him he merely ordered him to toddle off to a monastery for the remainder of his days.
Sir Thomas More, Chancellor and councillor to Henry VIII, set an exceptional paternal example for his era in that he gave his daughters the same classical education as his son.
Several prolific papas are also noteworthy: in the former Soviet Union, Feodor Vassilyev, a Russian peasant (c. 1707-1782) fathered 87 children with just two wives; personally, we think that the wives, one of whom bore 69 of the little darlings, should be the ones honoured, not the pater familias, who clearly didn’t understand the meaning of putting on the brakes. However, the biscuit for Stakhanovite production surely goes to Genghis Khan, who fathered between 1,000 and 2,000 Mini-Mes (albeit with numerous wives).
Now to the substandard sires. Tsar Ivan the Terrible abused his nine children for years and beat his pregnant daughter-in-law so that she miscarried.
Not long after the Second World War, the English writer, Evelyn Waugh, is said to have ordered his children to watch him eat all their rationed bananas, sugar and cream. His son Auberon never forgot this but has been chastised for this grudge by his own son, Alexander, for being greedy!
So if your begetter does not fall within a gene pool that you’d walk a mile in tight shoes to avoid, why not give him a pair of our Traditional Range Handmade Unisex Luxury Moccasins?
Released On 20th Jun 2018